His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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