I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize