His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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