2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
