Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
