very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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