are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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