just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
