i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
did you just send me my own nude
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
