you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
