Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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