I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
