Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
