im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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