just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
