i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
