That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize