Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
