Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
