We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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