you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
