I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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