what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
