I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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