Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
