im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
