im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
