I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
