She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
