you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
