I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
