I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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