Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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