Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
