It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
