this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
