the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Someone shit on the floor
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
