Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
