I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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