ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
