come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
