Your tits are I can't wait for
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
