Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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