No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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