Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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