Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
