I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
