it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
