Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
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