Im at strip club and am horny
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
