yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
