Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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