I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So many bounce houses so little time
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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