Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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