As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
