I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
