I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
