Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
