drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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