Well apparently he's into motor boating.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
