Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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