How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
